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Archive for May, 2010

The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab. Yeah, it seems strange in this day and age, but who are we to question tradition? It’s not like I’m saying that Santa Claus doesn’t exist (OOPS!).

There is so much to know about conversation that anyone, even I, could ever realize. You can go though watching talk shows; radio programs; clubs dedicated to public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words. It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it’s your mouth that’s doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communicator than to know the very person closest to you: yourself?

1. What you know.
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you’ve learned. My stint as guest at BNI meetings I go to taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to keep up and share what we know.

2. Listening.
It’s just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.

3. Humility
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. So in a group, don’t be afraid to ask if you’re saying the right word properly and if they’re unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it’ll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.

4. Eye Contact
There’s a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It’s important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.

5. Kidding around
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you’ll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they’ll feel that you’re just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.

6. Be like the rest of them
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You’ll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what people make them as they are.

7. Me, Myself, and I
Admit it; there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you’re at it you can spruce up as well.

8. With a smile
A smile says it all much like eye contact. There’s no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it’s a wake. You can better express what you’re saying when you smile.

9. A Role Model
There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they’re at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they read their lines, but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation
Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while others resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know since you enjoy your work.

And that about wraps it up. These suggestions are rather amateurish in edgewise, but I’ve learned to empower myself when it comes to public or private speaking and it never hurts to be with people to listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational.

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Improve Your Singing with Healthy Speech

Your speaking voice directly affects your singing By taking good care of your voice when speaking, you are improving your vocal health. You can improve your speaking habits by: Talk at full volume when you want to be heard, but don’t scream. If you tend to speak loudly all the time, turn down the volume. Noticing the articulation as you speak to prevent tension – not speaking with tension, such as jaw tension or tongue tension. Applying your knowledge of breathing while talking on the phone and avoid talking on the phone until your voice hurts due to lack of breath support.

Maintain a Healthy Weight

Though it might not be an issue for you, being too lean can cause problems regarding stamina when singing and trying to sustain higher pitches. Make sure you’re nourishing your body on a regular basis for stamina. There are singers that don’t eat until late in the day, but the body needs nourishment to get started. Try to get yourself into a routine where you eat something early in the day so you don’t find yourself snacking late at night because your body feels hungry.

Keep Yourself Hydrated

The human body is composed of 50% to 60% water. Your lungs need water in order to keep its tissues moving as they should. The tissue in your muscles is comprised of up to 75% water. So keeping your body well hydrated helps your singing voice work better.

Many people find water to be boring to drink. However, other liquids can help you balance your hydration levels as long as you remember that sugar content in drinks and caffeine in beverages can dry you out. Caffeine is a diuretic and causes your body to get rid of excess water which means you can’t rely on that cup of coffee to keep your voice in good shape.

Get Plenty of Sleep

When you don’t get enough sleep, your throat tissue has no time to heal. If you continually deprive yourself of sleep, your voice begins to feel sluggish. You need to allow yourself to regenerate and recoup during the night. Allow yourself to sleep more for a few nights in a row and see the difference it can make in your singing.

Be Sure You’re Well Nourished

You should always eat a balanced diet. By following the basic nutritional guidelines, you will eat balanced amounts of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, dairy products, and meat. A balanced diet also includes the proper amounts of fats, carbohydrates, and protein Because singing often requires extra energy, you may want to add some extra protein to your diet to enhance your ability to last through long rehearsals.

Prevention of Sore Throat or Infection

It can make a big difference if you keep just a few simple remedies hand for the times you feel a tickle coming on. One staple that many singers swear by is a bottle of saline nasal spray which is nothing more than water and salt. You can wash out any germs that may be lingering, waiting to make an attack on your immune system by spraying the solution up your nose.

It also helps to gargle with warm salt water. You can dislodge any germs from the back of your mouth when you gargle with a half a cup of warm water and a few teaspoons of salt. If you are prone to infections around your tonsils, you will likely discover that saltwater is one of your best friends. If you want to stop canker sores in their tracks, just swish the saltwater around in your mouth.

I hope you found this vocal health information helpful. To learn to sing like a star and discover more about maintaining the best posssible vocal health, I recommend checking out the Bristow Voice Method from Per Bristow.

Have you ever considered to be able to read faster? I’m sure you have. It is possible for you to do! It’s not a skill one has to be born with (although some people have natural talent to read fast), you can learn it by practicing simple speed reading techniques without losing retention of information. When you learn reading fast you can save a lot of time.

Many people read very slowly because they read a text – letter by letter or word by word. When you read this way it takes a lot of time and doesn’t guarantee retention of information. After you had learned speed reading you can read 500-700 words per minute while the average reader gets only through half of it or even less. So, what are the speed reading techniques? I will tell you in a minute…

Here is what you should start with..
The first thing to do when learning speed reading is to familiarize yourself with the material before you dive in and read it, and the easiest way to do this is to scan the back cover and the table of contexts. This way your brain has already absorbed key terminology, ideas and the order of information. Further, you should sit upright, have proper lighting, the right text size, no distractions around you and get your eyes checked out to make sure your vision is good.

Most speed readers automatically use a variety of speed reading techniques and methods in their endeavors, such as meta guiding (reading with the aid of your hand, a pointer or a card), chunking (taking in blocks of text), skimming and most of all eliminating subvocalization (reading aloud or mouthing). Those who practice speed reading don’t focus on each letter, word nor read aloud. They read the text quickly and allow their brain to absorb it.

When you practice these speed reading techniques regularly, they become simple and you get quickly used to them. For more information have a look at this reliable speed reading program.

I just finised reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and I’m buzzing with fresh ideas. Here are some of the quotes which I found worth sharing with the rest.

The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word
The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best   – Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

The first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honor. It is so important that with just this first agreement you will be able to transcend to the level of existence I call heaven on earth. The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. It sounds very simple, but it is very, very powerful. – Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of  themselves. – Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking—we take it personally—then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why when we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing. – Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good. – Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

Who stops us from being free? We blame the government, we blame the weather, we blame our parents, we blame religion, we blame God. Who really stops us from being free? We stop  ourselves. – Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive—the risk to be alive and express what we really are. – Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

Executive coach and author Marshall Goldsmith wrote, “Feedback is a gift that only other can give.”  If that is so, why do so many people have trouble giving and receiving feedback?
Much of the difficulty people have with feedback is actually about power. Our motive may be to control people if we give feedback to someone. Our resistance to receiving feedback is possibly a resistance to change. 

Before handing out feedback, it can be helpful to clarify the reason for it.  Here we will explain five different types of feedback and ideas for handling each type. 

Evaluation Feedback: This type of feedback is probably the most common in the world of work.It’s also the least helpful. The timeframe at which evaluation feedback comes is always at the end. When the performance year is over. The end of the week-long class. At the completion of a project.  True, we all need to be willing to rate ourselves, and the evaluation feedback will improve our performance next time.  But why not give and get feedback when we can learn from it real time?

Real-Time Performance Feedback: This type of feedback is usually given by someone whose success depends on you; for example your boss.  While it may be couched as an observation or something for you to think about, when someone shares performance feedback, they intend for you to change your behavior.

When you feel that you are receiving performance feedback from someone, it is helpful to be direct and clear.  Try asking, “what exactly would you like me to stop or start doing?” Once you get the feedback, make the change!

Fine-Tuning: Fine-tuning feedback generally comes from people who are satisfied with the overall job you are doing, but see some areas you could tweak to get even better. One of the best examples of fine-tuning feedback I ever received was from a course participant.  She asked me if she could share some feedback after she told me how much she had enjoyed the course.  She shared that when I nodded my head while listening to people in the audience, it made her feel as though I was rushing.  WOW!  I had no idea that my head nodding was having this effect on the audience, so her feedback blew me away.

The key to giving fine-tuning feedback is to share the impact a behavior has on you or others.  The person giving the feedback is not necessarily interested in controlling you, or even changing you. The person receiving the feedback has the chance to decide whether to change or not change, the person giving the feedback is merely sharing how they are impacted.

Feed-Forward: Goldsmith came up with this one years ago. It happens when you suggest to someone how to behave in advance of an action, rather than wait for after and risk failure. For example, my husband had a presentation to give to the executive leadership committee at work, which was the first time he ever did anything like that.  Before the presentation, his boss coached him on how much detail to include in his presentation, what he shoud wear, when he was expected to speak and more.

Slap Upside the Head: Two years ago, a colleague who is also a great friend sat me down and said, “You are making yourself and others miserable.  What do you think you’re doing?”

Slap upside the head feedback should be reserved for only the best of friends.  It is very personal feedback that should only be shared because you care about someone and are concerned. In his book, Who’s Got Your Back, Keith Ferrazzi gives some great examples of this feedback along with the assertion that we all desperately need people in our lives who care enough to give it.

A person giving slap upside the head feedback isn’t giving it with the intent of controlling you or even to change you because it matters to the person giving the feedback. they give the feedback knowing what your objectives are for your life and they see that your behavior is keeping you from reaching them.
Summary
If you are giving feedback:  think through what you want to achieve and give feedback that is appropriate.Don’t forget that if you are not someone’s superior, it is not appropriate to give evaluation feedback.  You can lead a horse to water . . .

If you are on the receiving end:  Keep in mind that we all are blind to certain things about ourselves, and feedback is one of the few ways to discover those things about ourselves.   View the feedback as a gift, even if you decide you don’t agree with it. If it’s evaluation or performance feedback, you have a chance to change in order to do better in the eyes of others.  If it’s fine-tuning or slap upside the head feedback, you have the choice to change or not.

Wendy Mack is a consultant, speaker, and change catalyst who specializes in helping leaders mobilize energy for change, For more articles and resources on leading and communicating change visit: www.WendyMack.com.

Busy schedules and the constant rush to get something done may take a toll on a person’s ability to be patient. If you are always trying to do something and move on to the next task, most likely you are constantly wired. If you are a parent, or have another leadership position, being patient is important. Patience is a skill that you can nurture with practice.

Begin your journey to greater tolerance by letting go of the little things. This does not mean you have to immerse yourself in chaos, but pick your battles carefully. Is it really worth arguing with your child which plate they eat in, or which shirt they wear? Let go of the small things, or else you will constantly find yourself in a roasting pan of emotion!

Most people have some sort of patience threshold; it becomes a little trickier when you are trying to increase this level. However, as a person in a leading role, such as parenthood, it is important to know what stage of development your child is in. This can help you figure out what’s normal behavior and what’s not. This is vital information when you are trying to pick your battles.

Learning to climb the twin loft bed may be an accomplishment for your child. If they have learned to climb it only to throw the bedding off, this can be a problem. Recognize the difference between celebrating an accomplishment and setting boundaries.

Have you breathed lately? This may sound like a silly question because you may think to yourself that you breathe all the time. While it may be true that you are always breathing, how much of this breathing is intentional? When you take deep breaths, it will make you aware of how patient you really can be. Breathing deeply will put you in control of emotions, which will give you more control over them.

Try not to take your children’s outbursts personally. When your kids are gathered around the black dining room set for lunch and have an argument, this argument is not meant to intentionally annoy you. Kids are being kids, with no ulterior motive involved. Keep this in mind before you loose your patience.

Keep a situation in perspective. Sometimes people will become irritated over the small things that will not even be remembered a week from today. Ask yourself, is this really something that I will remember a day, a week or a month from now? Usually, the answer is no. When you really how irrelevant something is, you will not cave in to becoming frustrated. Learning patience is a continuous activity and just like any other skill, it takes time and practice.

Thinking as regard attracting abundance its setting you off on a wonderful route. Using the Law of Attraction means what ever you truly believe in your thoughts will be found in your life, all you need is positive thoughts. Consequently, all you must to do for attracting abundance is chill out and clear your mind then really feel all the positive emotions that enclose you. Your positive emotions will carry the results you aspire.

Attracting abundance begins with having positive thoughts about the cash coming to you. What does this mean? It simply means you need to transform the way you think from a negative to a positive. Or to put it another way, you shouldn’t think about what you do not have. Focus on what you would like. Remember in accordance to the universal laws of attraction, like attracts like. Therefore, the universe will send you more of what you focus on. This means that if you are thinking about your scarcity of health, you will then get more of the same..

This just tells you how crucial it is to stay focused on how you are feeling. You need to always feel as though you have the money and that the money is emanating to you effortlessly. In no way can you ever allow for yourself to feel needy or in a state of seeking. Attracting abundance asks you to focus on the funds that you will have soon. Program your brain to think that you now have the money or what ever it is you dream of.

One beneficial tool to use in your attracting abundance journey is to visualize what it is that you need. The use of a vision board can be very helpful in receiving this goal. You can insert images or cuttings from magazines on to your vision board of products or countries you want to go with the money that is en route to you. merely producing a vision board, however, is most ultimately not adequate. You must also work with the vision board.

Applying your vision board must turn out to be part of your habit. You need to use your vision board mutually in the morning and in the evening. Focus in on what it is that you yearn for and embrace the experience that you soon receive what it is that you want. In other words, you need to adjust your thinking to reflect attracting abundance.

Never forget, you need to keep focused on what you will be going to carry out with the money as soon as you have gained it. You also need to try and evoke the feelings you have once you have all the money and items you long for. It is this feeling that will guide you to realize what you desire so that you can achieve you goals.

You can attract abundance, but you have to be enthusiastic to control your thought patterns. Since much of your path of thinking has been deep-fixed over a span of quite a few years, this might be not easy at the outset. However, it is your duty to break any conditioning. Once you have correctly taken the required stages towards getting over your negative thoughts and emotions, you will see that attracting abundance is really something you can acquire.

You simply cannot look anywhere these days without seeing some type of reference to weight loss. People are constantly trying to transform their bodies in order to make the world acknowledge them for the person that they are. Children can even be seen going to the gym working out, simply because they have received an immense amount of adverse attention from people that reported that they were overweight or obese.

There are some adverse reports that have been arising when it comes to increased muscle growth in children and teens. Apparently, it is kosher for a teen to want to work out, however once these teens start exceeding the amount of muscle that their bodies demand this can be extremely detrimental to their health.

When a teenager teams up with their very own personal trainer, this can actually be a good thing for them. The trainer can show them the different types of exercises that will work for their specific case and also lead them through what they should eat and not eat. However, often times the expectations of teenagers seem fairly large, and they end up hurting themselves in the process of trying to make themselves fit the examples of what the perfect body should be.

Looking at the other side of this weight loss problem for teens, there are so many different adverse things that often arise. Teenagers that are considered obese are often the prime subjects of taunting and other adverse things are also thrown at them. These taunts and persistent problems that others cause these teenagers could lead to their destruction.

With the will to want to look their best, teen suicides have also begun to escalate throughout the world. A lot of teens figure that the taunting and the horrid remarks will never subside, so instead of having to find a way to cope with their problems, they put on a black helmet and attempt to do the worst thing possible.

Obesity is a problem that can be rectified. However, a lot of teens figure that the taunting will never end, so in order to end it in their own realms of thinking they take their lives and never get the opportunity to face those that made them feel as if they were nothing. People will constantly be on quests for the perfect body, but this level of perfectionism may never be met.